Today I had a revelation: usually, in the past, when I have had the urge to get away, I just got in the car and drove away. Maybe for a few hours, maybe a few days. Maybe I went somewhere alone or maybe I went to visit my brother or grandmother. I have been wanting to get away but I don't think I realized it. Today, in my confusion about what I really wanted, I bought some black eyeliner and a new sweatshirt. I know it sounds crazy, and in this Korean experiment I have tried to do away with superfluous clothes and the purchasing of such things, which has at times been hard, but it was like I was taking a vacation by buying those things. For one, the sweatshirt is like a totally normal piece of clothing, something that reminds me of who I really am and my American self. The eyeliner was because I wanted to hide, or not be myself, a vacation from me. I love black eyeliner because it's not something I normally wear, but when I want a quick change that doesn't involve a radical haircut, I slap some on. When I got home from work I put on the sweatshirt and eyeliner and made dinner. (tacos!!) I checked online for train tickets, but everything is pretty booked up for tomorrow, so maybe I'll take a big long walk or go to the museum. I know it sounds crazy, but once I changed my clothes I felt 10x better.
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